OOC Chat Room

First topic message reminder :

>.< Alright.

Ahhhhhhh, but i like Dbz. Fine...........

Like I control the network? XD If they do put it on I'll just skip it XD

Don't be hatin. Dbz is the great grandfather of all anime. XD

From my understanding it's just a half hour of muscled men grunting o.O

Nope. Thats only happens every once and a while. Its awesome....

Still >.<

It gets harder to stay up as the day goes x.x Ironically enough once I do go to bed I won't actually be able to sleep e.e

Everyone should look up llamas with hats on youtube. xD There are 4 of them, and they're all funny. xD

Looks like it'll kinda be similar to Charlie the Unicorn o.o

Kind of, but more fucked up. xD

Oh damn XD

Hmmmmmm.

o.o?

I can't take it anymore. Dx

Whats wrong?

Take what anymore? o.o What's wrong?

Same as usual... I'm still sad about the whole thing last month. Everywhere, and I mean, everywhere in this town I go, I'm bombarded with memories. Nothing feels right anymore. Even when I'm with another friend, I feel completely and utterly alone. Even now, when I'm about to be kicked out in a month or so, I'm not doing anything. I'm not trying to find a place or set anything up. I just don't care. I've pretty much lost the will to live. Everytime I go to a major function, like tonight when I saw the fireworks, I'm constantly looking around, hoping to see her, even though I know that if I see her, it will wreck me. I'm pretty sure, that given the chance, I would grovel at her feet and beg for forgiveness, even though I did nothing, except maybe shoot a few mean words back. That's saying a lot, since I have a huge ego, and I never apologize for anything, even if I am in the wrong. I guess it's safe to say that my pride has been completely destroyed. A lot of people will be happy to hear that. I can't even watch Bleach without getting depressed, which is why I've been watching Inuyasha instead... whenever someone calls me Hashley-chan, I burst into tears, same with hen someone types *glomps* I want to see her, I want to talk to her face to face so bad... but I can't. I'm too afraid of the response I will get. Even after all the things she's done here and there to piss me off, I don't care about any of that. At least then, I always knew that I had someone...

I think that maybe I am bi or something... I mean, I get sad over losing friends, but never anything like this. But I could never do any of that freaky lesbo shit... when I was told how they do it, I was soo grossed out. x.x

One of the worst things about this is that I know that I'm the only one who is sad. Everyone else involved has probably gotten over it and forgotten me, but for me, it's like it happened yesterday. I'm always, always the one who gets the worst end of the deal.

Oh damn Hash......I wish I could do more to help, I really do, cause I hate seeing you this upset...But I don't know how to help, except listen and try and offer advice to the best of my abilities..

First I wanna say, that you're not bi just cause you miss her...You two went through a lot so it's understandable, it doesn't mean you've got those kinds of feelings for her...

Second....I'd say try talking to her if you felt you need to, but I honestly don't think it's a good idea because who knows what'll happen? I mean there's always the chance things could be smoothed over by a round of apologizes from both parties, but I don't want you to get sucked in only to potentially be pushed back out...This part most likely isn't helping much...Sorry >.< But I'm concerned, from everything I've heard about you two and how close you were then how she had been treating you and shit...I'm just worried if you do grovel at her feet, you'll only wind up more broken than you already are...

What would be helpful, I think, is getting out of the town completely and away from all the memories....Or right now perhaps getting shit faced...You also need to realize that even without here you have people, both here and I'm sure you'll find someone in real life eventually....And I know you don't wanna hear about waiting till you find them, so I'll just refrain from saying it even though I did in away already....>.>

I just...Don't know what else to say atm...>.<

That sucks, that really, really, sucks. I would hate to feel that way, which is why i am glad that i am not that close anyone. Though even if i was, i think i could get over it easily, not hard for me to just move on with out a care in the world. XD

Lol at the bi and lesbian part, but its pretty much the same as regular sex.

I really feel bad you, and its kind of harsd to tell if she is hurt by it. Does not seem like it, though she doesn't post that much on fb. So she may feel the same way, at least she should. I don't know how she can't, you were her best friend. Have to be heartless to not care or anything. Maybe you two should talk one last time, get some closure or something. I would hope that would help you feel alot better if yall do finally end it between you two. Or you both can make up, but i know you wouldn't want your pride to be tarnish by being the one to say something. You could always get a mediator, a close friend of you both to help get you two to talk with one another. With out either feeling like they were the one in the wrong....

I can't bring myself to confront her. I did text her that one last time telling her what was what, but I was pissed at that time, when I'm pissed I can do anything... but now, I don't get angry about anything. I'm like a zombie. Seriously, someone could probably come up to me, punch me in the face, and I wouldn't do anything. I just don't care. If I went out of town for too long, I'd actually miss the memories and get even more depressed.

Jkf, girls don't have dicks, so it isn't the same as real sex. o-o I don't really want to say what I was referring to though, because it's gross, to me.

Maybe.. idk. After this, I think she was my best friend, but I wasn't her best friend. I mean, no matter what, even if they killed someone, I could never just turn my back on my best friend. I can't even imagine doing that, especially over something like how they act. If I were in her shoes, noticing how I was gradually getting more and more bitter, I'd know something was up, and try to help them, or tell them straight up that they're being a dick. For the mediator thing, there are none. Kinda what I was trying when I contacted Dalaga before. As you all know, that didn't work out too well. The mediator always takes a side in the end, and it's never mine, even though I actually tell the truth.

I could be a mediator, but i don't know if Rin would listen to me or anything. Maybe though, if you want me to try, just ask.

And i know what females do with one another. XD They use their tongues for the most part, which is still similar to regular sex. In a way, especially if they like using strap ons. XD

I agree, i would of confronted you instead of going full silent mode. That kinds of piss me off when people just give you the silent treatment, and wait until you text them or something before they speak their mind. -,- Cowards....

I hope you feel better.

I wouldn't be able to either, I'd probably help them get rid of evidence >.> I don't know a single person with a heart who could turn their back on their best friend...After everything they give each other....

I think I know what both of you are referring to...>.>

JD I think you get your ideas mainly from porn >.>

Then if you feel you need closure you need someone neutral, who barely knows her and maybe who barely knows you...But do you think you'll get the closure you feel you need? Though given the fact you don't feel you can contact her...I don't think you'd be able to set it up right now..

I hate when people don't tell me what's up face to face, if they don't have the guts to say it to me then they shouldn't be saying it at all e.e Pisses me off...If ya got a problem with me tell me straight up not hide and sneak around, talking about me behind my back e.e

Porn? Not really. I put things together, i may of saw some pictures in some magazines once or twice. Black Swan kind of help me put two and two together. XD Then again, i already knew.

I didn't think there was that much in Black Swan o.o Anyway, I've done some studying on the matter, there's a bunch of stuff that can go down...But I'm not gonna talk about it cause it'll make Hash uncomfortable.

Yes, there is alot. XD