OOC Chat Room

First topic message reminder :

>.< Alright.

Ign's right...But the problem of not knowing her number...Look it up in a phonebook? o.e

It wouldn't be in there. Besides, like I said, I can't. I'm just going to have to live with it.

You can, you told me a way which you could start. just start there, and see the result.

What way are you talking about?

Simple; unblock her on face book and see if you're still blocked

Wouldn't it look stupid, messaging her on facebook about something like that?

No, least I don't think so.

not really, after all it would be a private thing between the two of you, and it's the sincerity that counts.

Well she probably won't even answer... still can't bring myself to do it. e.e

Never know...But damn >.<

Sometimes I find it best just to say "Fuck it." and do it no matter how scared I am, since I know no matter the outcome I'll be in a better position than I was before.

I may not be in a better position though..

Damn..

I wish I could stay and help, but I've gotta get off >.< Sorry..

Do you enjoy the position you are in now? You already believe the absolute worst anyway, so there's only a little further down this can bring you. however, afterwards, you would be able to get over it because you would know for sure. you could only wind up in a worse position short term; long term, there is only an improvement. even if she does reject you, and the rejection is worse than you are already imagining it, you currently have a long life ahead of you and people who care about you; you could get through it.

Okay, bye, Kizo.

Still... no matter what anyone says, I can't do it. Anyway, if she really gave a shit, she would have approached me herself a long time ago. After what she said, I honestly don't believe that she is having the same problem as I. She has new friends now, so I don't exist to her; I don't matter, so neither does my opinion, or my reason. I've seen first-hand how she uses people by gaining their sympathy; not only me either. Sure, it's only for money here and there, but if I'm just gonna become a piggy-bank again, and (apparently) not an actual friend, then I don't think I should have to say anything. If she ever truly valued my friendship, she can come and talk to me, face to face.

Well, I think I just had a bit of a revelation. O.o

Well, you know her better than I do, so I'd say hold on to this revelation. but if you are correct, would it hurt to unblock her?

Well, its hard to tell how a person feels in their facebook posts, but she seems to be moving on without a care. Mostly doing a lot of cosplay picknicks and what not. Are you sure you don't want to talk to her or message her? I mean, isn't closure what you want? Isn't this back and forth feeling getting annoying? If you want i could see if her phone number is on her facebook page? Send it to you through mail so you can at least have the option of calling her and putting it all to rest.

I guess not.

Cosplay is how she gained all her "new friends" and found it easy to drop me. In fact, one of those friends probably bad-mouthed me to her after I left early, 'cause I know that the other one in the hotel with us really didn't like me. It's also the reason why I won't be able to go to cons without constantly being bombarded with memories and being stressed to the max because I think I will run into her.

I would like closure, but I don't want to look like a stalker. I mean, just living so close to her puts me constantly on edge when I walk around. My other friend wanted to walk down the street she lived on, so I did, even though I usually avoid it like the plague now. When I walked by with Danielle, her grandpa, with her in the car drove by us, and I think I almost blacked out or something. I just got this intense feeling like I shouldn't have been there. Then, since I was shaking and stuff, I had to tell Danielle the whole story. >.>

So basically, I'm mentally and physically repulsed by her. Even though I want to see her so bad. Is that what happens after a strong bond is severed? Or was there ever a bond at all; maybe it's the deception itself, that is affecting me. Maybe, deep down, I actually hate her now? I'm so confused...

So yeah, closure would be great, but she would have to approach me. It's the only way, since I just can't make myself do it.

And what if she feels the same way? it is possible you know.

She feels that I used her? What a joke. What the hell could I have possibly used her for? Sure, she had done me favours, but I always repaid her tenfold. Also, I never did anything to make myself repulsive to her. Sure, I snapped back. But her and her little online fuckbuddies where saying shit that was a hell of a lot worse. And if it was really about this forum, then what the fuck. She was jealous, She taught me how to RP, got me started on it, and yet, not months later, I surpass her, become one of the best known RP'ers/leaders on the net, and a couple years later, start a forum and become known as "advanced" with minimal effort. For someone who values their virtual life (don't know if that's really the case, but it sound that way) over their real one, I guess that would sting. I never rubbed it in her face though, not even once, because I knew she was sensitive about it. In fact, I always put her above everyone else. Hell, I even had her as an admin here once, even though she did fuck-all to help.

Also, when I say her at grad, she gave me a weird look. Not a hateful look, but just odd. I went from shocked, to glare, to dodging through the crowd and leaving super-fast. e.e

Not the used her feeling. the "I would like closure but she needs to approach me" with regret as to what happened feeling. If she weren't to talk to you, it would like like you've moved on and made new friends as well. You yourself say you want closure, but are refusing to take charge and get it. to send a single message to an old friend whom you have fallen out with is not stalker-ish.

Or I'm wrong, and she doesn't feel that way; if that's the case, why would she call you so you can have closure?

The door is there; you forgot about it after locking it but we've reminded you. the least you can do is check if it's also been locked from the other side.

Well like I said, I want to talk to her in person. Through text and everything else, she lies constantly. In person, I can easily tell whether she's lying or not.

I'm leaving to go on that camping trip soon. Really don't want to go. -.-

That makes sense, all I can say is...If you do ever end up running into her, talk to her, cause then it's fate throwing you two together so this can get properly sorted out. Take the opportunity if it should come and get closure, hopefully your friend will be with you when it happens so you'll have support.

Okay >.<

A simple "we need to talk" could transition into a face to face meeting; just reply to whatever she says with something along the lines of "we should meet in person to discuss this." And if she doesn't reply, then at least you tried.

holy crap i missed alot sorry for the what feels like a year long disappearence