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 Terrantos (Lieutenant of Squad 3)

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LordTerrantos
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LordTerrantos


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PostSubject: Terrantos (Lieutenant of Squad 3)   Terrantos  (Lieutenant of Squad 3) Icon_minitimeWed Jun 13, 2012 7:35 pm

Name: Terrantos

Nickname: Terry (By Soifon)

Age: 19 (Physically) 220 (Soul Reaper years)

Gender: Male

Squad: 2 (Formerly) 3

Rank: Lieutenant

Weapon(s): Kunai, Throwing Knives, Poison darts (within his gauntlets). The Poison darts in his gauntlets are hidden within the red jewel and upon pointing his gauntlet (left or right) 3 to 5 poison darts are shot at his foe the poison is fatal and will kill the one inflicted within 3 to 4 hours. He prefers to only use this as a last resort as he prefers to kill his enemy without using Mayuri's devices as the Poison darts were designed by Mayuri for the Lieutenant.

Personality: He is calm and Cool headed, rarely ever showing emotion in battle and around his friends and allies. Tho only time he shows emotion is around Soifon. He is Antagonistic and mocks his opponents in battle and sometimes even has a mocking grin on his face. He is not arrogant unlike some soul reapers he is usually quiet even during a fight. He believes in only following his beliefs and will not betray them. But will follow Soifon until the end due to his feelings for her. Despite his Cruel and cold-hearted front he is quite a kind person willingy puts his life on the line to save a fellow soul reaper or Soifon or any one else in the Gotei 13. As Soi has said he is quite sweet despite his rough appearance. Tho he has only shown disdain for a few individuals specifically Omaeda & somewhat Mayuri. He also rarely ever speaks around his allies/friends and usually only speaks when he feels like it or when mocking a opponent. He is also shown to be somewhat Sadistic due to the fact he enjoyed seeing Reigai Byakuya in Pain when he fought him.


Physical Appearance: Terrantos is a Pale Skinned Tall Male. He wears the Punishment Force outfit just like Soifon (as he is the only non-Squad 2 Shinigami allowed to wear one) but he has his outfit torso part open and has a silver Obi tied around his waist and and like Soifon in the anime his thighs are covered with white cloth. He also wears Silver Gauntlets with a red jewel on the hand and there is chain on the left gauntlet. He also has a Skull tatoo on both his shoulders and he has crimson eyes and hair style kind of like Aizen's but slightly different.


Bio:


Inner world appearance: His inner world is quite dark as they are flaming buildings everywhere and black storm clouds and a throne in the middle of the room and there are tall dark pillars as well.

Zanpakutō

Name: Korekuta-Obscura
Zanpakutō spirit: Korekuta-Obscura resembles a Grim Reaper with the black cloak and hood but instead of being a skeleton he has flesh and he has bandages wrap around his arms and chains are attached. He has crimson colored eyes and long silver hair and a Golden necklace with a skull. and wears Spiked boots and has Silver gauntlets that resemble his Soul Reaper Master. Korekuta is quite different than Terrantos. He is Agressive, Arrogant, Violent, Power-Hungry, Destructive, Blood-thirsty, Narcisstic, and Completly emotionless. Despite this he does have some of his Master's Traits such as he is Honorable and does have the same amount of Pride as his weilder does. He will save anyone that his Master wants to save but that's about it, the only other soul Reaper he truly respects is Soifon and no one else. this may be only because his Master has feelings for her. and she does for him also. Korekuta also seems to enjoy reaping the lives of the unjust as he despises unhonorable people but will spare the Honorable or the weak.

Sealed form: In its sealed form, it resembles a wakizashi with a yellow hilt reminiscent of a Chinese dao. It is kept sheathed on Terrantos's right side

Shikai: His Shikai form resembles a 3 Bladed Death-Scythe. The Blades are pure silver and there is a skull at the top of the weapon and at the hilt is three golden-markings resembling the markings on Suzumebachi.

Call out phrase: Rise from Darkness and Bring forth Chaos

Any abilities/techniques: Darkness Manipulation . He can manipulate the Darkness from within his Zanpakuto but the abilitiy originates from himself as he can bend darkness (tho nowadays prefers only using his zanpakuto to do it). He can create projectiles out of darkness such as Shruiken, Kunai, Arrows, Rockets and send them flying at his opponet with great speed which can increase its force upon impact. He can also create other weapons by using his manipulation over it such as Swords, Axes, Spears, Guns, Scythes, Battleaxes, and much more and use them to attack range opponents to catch them off guard or just to put some distance. Tho He can manipulate shadows he can not teleport he can only do teleportation via Hoho. He can not fade into Shadows due to his Zanpakuto strong hate for hiding in Shadows or more like hate for teleportation. He can also create large darkness walls to protect him from enemy attacks tho it depends on the strength of the attack of how long the wall will last. He can also surround himself in darkness to make some sort of "Darkness Armor to increase his denfense against a powerful foe such as a Easpada above 6.

Bankai

Bankai name: Korekuta-Obscura Mugen no Yami

Bankai description: His Bankai is similar to Byakuya's Senbonzakura's Bankai. Darkness surrounds Terrantos as if its a living creature and his gauntlets change to demon looking gauntlets they are no longer silver but red with claws and black flames on them and demon looking eyes as well. It Resembles tentacles in some way but just pure black and have ominous aura around them.

Any abilities/techniques: The only new ability it possess is Dark Enhancment which increases his speed and attack as well as defense by 10%. This Increases his capabilities as one would expect. Normal his strength would not pierce through like a Arrancar hierro via just his Hakuda but this increases his strength to a point he can just punch a Arrancar (depending on the arrancar's strength) and injure them he could do the same to a Espada below or at 5. His Speed is also enhanced to Rival Soifon's and greatly outrunning his foe or too fast for his foe to hit. As he does not have his Zanpakuto in his Bankai it does not increase his Zanjutsu abilities but Instead increases his Kido abilities allowing him to do some Kido, His Kido can do High damage if he uses it correctly. His Hankou is also increased to allow him to sunstain very powerful attacks such as for Example a Reigai Byakuya's Bankai Senkei or Gokei.

Statistics

Rank - C
Hoho (speed) - 4
Zanjutsu (Art of the sword or weapon) - 3
Reiryoku (Spiritual energy) - 4
Kido (Way of the spirit) - 3
Hakudo (Physical combat) - 4
Hankou (Resistance) - 3
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Last edited by LordTerrantos on Wed Jun 20, 2012 1:01 am; edited 5 times in total
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Caelum Tsukiyo
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PostSubject: Re: Terrantos (Lieutenant of Squad 3)   Terrantos  (Lieutenant of Squad 3) Icon_minitimeFri Jun 15, 2012 12:48 am

Terrantos  (Lieutenant of Squad 3) 6dcab24deb6e1b8398df505


Well well. Aside from the generally confusion of the Bio (perhaps that is just me...Hm.... You might want to brush up on use of punctuation (: ) There are only a few issues I'm seeing with this profile.

There need to be clearly defined release attacks or abilities for your Shikai, and Bankai also. This should include limitations and functionality, as in how it works or what it affects. Is this Darkness shadow? Or is it dark energy? If so, is it his own? Or does it come from something/somewhere else? And what can it do? You have to spell these things out for us sticklers who like to make sure everything is kosher.

A little thing, but also a Bankai's name should "line up" so to speak with the Skikai's name. {ex: Shikai - Zangetsu | Bankai - Tensa Zangetsu} In other words, they shouldn't be completely different.

There are some (several actually) discrepancies regarding time and how it falls in line with things in your profile, but I won't hassle you about such petty things.

Keep in mind, with your Kido being so remarkably low, your OC will have almost no real skill in anything reiatsu/reiryoku control based, so Kido in general will be weak and release attacks will also be rather lacking as far as power goes. Of course you can work with this by simply compensating with extra spiritual energy fueling, as far as release attacks go, but other than that abilities will be weak.

Speaking of Kido, are there any your OC knows or may make use of?


Annnnnd...I think that is all. When that's been changed, I'll give it another once over.
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PostSubject: Re: Terrantos (Lieutenant of Squad 3)   Terrantos  (Lieutenant of Squad 3) Icon_minitimeFri Jun 15, 2012 12:55 am

If I may comment on the Bankai name, in the Bleach-verse that's not always the case, such as how Soifon goes from her zanpakuto's shikai name Suzumebachi to Jakuhō Raikōben, I think that's where he's getting that from. But I do think Hash would suggest the same thing as you and recommend he change it to line up, which actually could be as simple as sticking the shikai name on the end really, but work it so it flows less like a lazy-mans fix >.<
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PostSubject: Re: Terrantos (Lieutenant of Squad 3)   Terrantos  (Lieutenant of Squad 3) Icon_minitimeFri Jun 15, 2012 6:41 am

Yes, I usually like the shikai and bankai to line up, but I don't usually make a big deal of it.
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PostSubject: Re: Terrantos (Lieutenant of Squad 3)   Terrantos  (Lieutenant of Squad 3) Icon_minitimeMon Jun 18, 2012 10:34 am

Having 1 in Hankou basically means one hit from an A rank would finish you off. You can keep it like that if you wish, but I would advise you to atleast give it a 2.

For your shikai, please explain a bit more of what your ability can do, to give everyone a better idea as well as save the hassle during a fight when someone points out that you can't do this because it wasn't specified.

As For Bankai, a bit more on the details should improve your profile by alot. Write on how the defense, speed and attack boost affect your character.

As for your normal weapons, you need to explain your poison darts a bit more. If it insta-kills, obviously it will be disapproved. If I was your opponent, I would ask, "Poison darts. What do they do to me? How do they affect my fighting skills? Is it fatal? How long does it last?" And So On.

Also, Your Profile has alot of room for improvement. Perhaps you don't wish to add them now since your character is simply a lieutenant. If thats the case, My Advice would be to add them all (Strike the ones you won't use yet) so that mods can easily check all of them and save time.
However, if you wish for your character to stay this way (With alot of room for improvement), you are very much welcome to.

In my opinion, if you follow the above mentioned suggestions and point outs, you should be approve and have a better overall character.
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PostSubject: Re: Terrantos (Lieutenant of Squad 3)   Terrantos  (Lieutenant of Squad 3) Icon_minitime

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